Friday, November 20, 2009

Every opportunity, a new opportunity

I was talking with Marshall one day, and found myself describing somebody in my life using negative labels, like shallow-thinker, stubborn, insecure and unhappy. His comment back was “If you always think of her that way, than that is what she will always be to you. She can never be anything else.”

Marshall went on to explain that if every time I saw or spoke with this person, and as long as I continued to think of her with those negative attributes, I would fail to see any redeeming or positive qualities. I would focus on everything she did or said that fit within those labels, and force every moment of the connection to be encapsulated within my predetermined idea of her, never allowing her to break out of that shell.

Shortly thereafter, I had an opportunity to connect with the person whom I previously thought of as a shallow-thinker, stubborn, insecure and unhappy. I consciously cleared my head before greeting her, allowing only positive thoughts and energy between us.

The interaction that followed was amazing. I learned that she was bright, interested, engaged, and we shared laughter, which in previous conversations might have been forced, but now was authentic and genuine, because I believed she was happy.

What a brilliant lesson. Imagine greeting every person with a fresh perspective every time. No expectations, no pressure, no labels, no judgment. It is actually quite refreshing, and the more you practice the ‘clean slate approach’, the easier it becomes. You will find the energy between you is more relaxed, natural… and enjoyable.

Keep this in mind for the next connection you make today.

PS: In case you might be worried that the person in this post is YOU, fear not. There is no possible way it is you.

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