Time to shift.

Wow. What a year it has been. And not just the almost-year it’s been since my last post {sheepish grin 😏}, but 2019 so far. In January, I was completely fired up before and during my Thailand trip. Things settled down after my March women’s art retreat weekend, and have remained oddly quiet since.

This quiet stillness coincides with my recent “single” relationship status—something new for me. It’s been over six months since my five-year relationship ended, and I honestly cannot remember a time in my life when I was single for this long. At age 47, it’s an odd feeling. Sometimes I am refreshed and inspired by my new found “freedom”. Other times I am desperately lonely and longing for someone with whom to connect.

For the last twelve weeks, I participated in a business coaching program which included three 60-minute in-person energy healing sessions. I believe in the power of energy, so this portion of the program was the selling feature for me. Jessica was able to tap into my true energy and listen to messages I have been telling myself which simply aren’t true. Like “nobody loves me”, or “I will never amount to anything.” As quickly as she heard these messages, she was able to heal them. And, while the impact of her healing isn’t always felt right away, I can certainly sense a strong upward shift in my overall sense of self, empowerment, and trueness. It may take several months for a complete integration, though I can say with confidence, I am feeling so much lighter and brighter these days, and my energy is picking up for all things inspiring and creative.

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll have noticed my quiet. I currently have two accounts—@indetailcreative and @liveyourspiritnow, and have been drawn to share less creative work on inDetail, and more “this is me” on Live Your Spirit!, simply because that is what resonates with me these days—little snippets of my life in the hopes that my moments inspire others to take time to celebrate or time to be still.

Developing Live Your Spirit! has been on my “if you could do anything” agenda for ten years—helping people tap into their true selves, and find ways to shine through everyday moments, even the difficult ones. My belief is that through creative play—any kind of play—and joy, and pleasure, and laughter, and even tears, we can find our lost selves again, and nurture ourselves, and live the lives we were meant to, as light and loving creatures.

Here’s the thing… I haven’t been living my Spirit.

How can I possibly develop and share a program with the world, when I haven’t put myself through it? When I have not been honouring my own Spirit? Nurturing her, holding space for her to shine, and explore, and inspire myself. How can I truly guide others to this connection, when I have been feeling so disconnected myself? (Sidenote: You’ve gotta read Lost Connections, by Johann Hari)

Thanks to some very real friends (you know the kind that shake you out of your slump and let you cry on their shoulders, leaving mascara on their shirt?), and the power of energy healing, meditation, self-care, journaling…, I am in a shift phase. I feel it. I am feeling the urge to create, and share, and inspire myself, and the magical part? I’m giving myself permission to do all of this without needing it to answer the question, “How will this make money!? ” Whoa. Pressure off.

So my plan (notice I’m not using the word idea? I’m amazing at ideas—that’s never been a problem. It’s working the plan to make those ideas reality where I tend to fall short.) is to get #outofmyhead and #intotheworld. And I’m inviting you to come along.

My main Instagram account, @indetailcreative, will soon be rebranded as JoeGirl, and I will share stories, posts, and links to JoeGirlTV live streams and videos on Twitch and YouTube. I will be writing more here, and am sketching out thoughts for a “Live Your Spirit! with JoeGirl” podcast. Yes, lots of ideas, and for the first time in a long, long time, these ideas feel right. They feel strong and powerful. Like their time has come, and I am ready to embrace and implement them! I am finally ready to get out of my own way and make it happen—for me + for you.

It’s time to be JoeGirl.
It’s time to Live My Spirit!

It’s time to shift.

xox
Joanne

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this story. Feel free to leave a comment and let’s chat!

Oh, and by the way, none of the third-party links in this post are sponsored. I just really like them.

Inspiration 365: Day 54

[ Yes, I skipped a few days. Forgive me. ]

Today was Quinn’s Grade 5 ski trip to our regular hill. I volunteered to join the class as a parent helper, but was {don’t tell anybody} not particularly looking forward to the outing. “Why?” you ask. While I do love skiing and the outdoors, and I love spending time with Quinner, there were a few potential issues that were making me wince a little.

1.  The weather has been so mild all week, even raining at times, I was anticipating lousy conditions. Considering I had to pay for my lift ticket, I didn’t want to be forking over my pennies to ski in slush or on ice.

2.  Quinn is considered an advanced skier for his age group. This is his eighth year on skis, and his fifth in the racing program. He knows his stuff, knows the trails, and often goes skiing on his own without supervision. Most of his school friends are hockey players, having never clipped a boot into a binding before. Two of these guys (I’ll call them A-boy + H-boy) were assigned to my group to make our foursome. While I love teaching kids and working with them, I was not sure how we would all have an enjoyable day. Either Quinn would be bored on the easier runs, or his buddies would be frustrated and not able to keep up.

Quinn and I opted to drive to the hill instead of taking the school bus (more of that good ol’ quality time). We arrived about 45 minutes ahead of the class. While we waited another NINE schools came, resulting in about a thousand kids, of various skill levels, all ready to ski.

Once everybody had their tickets and gear, we were told to go to the star test station so the kids could be qualified to ski safely. A-boy had been on skis once or twice before and, as an avid hockey player, understood the science behind weight-shifting, balance and speed control. H-boy had never been on skis, and rarely on skates. These big planks on his feet made him stumble and fall simply getting from chalet to rope tow.

The hill was clearly ill-equipped to handle so many kids. The few instructors there weren’t so much teaching as they were herding kids through tow lines, hollering at them to “Keep going! There are too many kids here to hold up the line!” Poor H-boy stumbled on his first attempt to grab the rope tow. I exclaimed to the lift operator this was his first time on skis. “Oh! Well then he should be over THERE!”, pointing to a station where kids were learning how to STOP. Oh, there is a process here! So H-boy and I went over, while Quinn and A-boy proceeded to acquire their star with ease.

After six attempts, H-boy passed his stopping test, but not before frustration and defeat set in. He told me several times “I suck” and “I can’t do this”. My heart sank, but I encouraged him to keep trying. I took him over to the Turning station for his next step. He rode the magic carpet, while I skied uphill to meet him at the top {it’s a mild grade slope, at best}. Again at the top, there was a line up of kids waiting to go down, weaving gracefully through pylons, and who were expected to make turns and stop successfully at the bottom. There was zero instruction, only crowd control. “How can you expect kids to keep going, when they don’t even know what they are doing!? Most of these kids have never been on skis before, let alone know how to turn!” I said {forcefully, but not yelling}. “Hey, I’m the only one here. I’m doing what I can” was his response. “Well shuffling them down the hill is only going to result in a pile-up and potentially injuries. These kids need to be taught.”

I took H-boy to the side and tried to show him how to shift his weight in order to turn. He just wasn’t getting the hang of it. He toppled over at every attempt, becoming more frustrated each time. You know that point, when you just feel so lousy, you don’t even want to try? That’s where he was.

I looked up and saw Quinn patiently waiting, clearly bummed, but also feeling sad for his friend. It was now almost noon, and Q still hadn’t even gone down the hill. I approached their teacher with the situation. She suggested she might be able to find another group of kids at H-boy’s level with whom he could learn to ski. Feeling awful about his first experience, I agreed this was the best idea given the situation.

I thought about H-boy all day, wondering how he was doing. I learned that he spent the three hours after our last turning attempt just sitting in the lodge.

At about 3:30pm, I saw the teacher at the bottom of the hill. She caught my attention and was thrilled to tell me H-boy had decided to get back out there and try again. She pointed to the top of the wee rope tow hill, where I saw him prepping himself for another run. I waved, and he waved back. From fifty yards away, I could tell he was beaming with pride.

I had promised his Dad I would take photos and video, so here was my chance. In the time it took me to haul my iPhone out of my pocket, Quinn, A-boy and Q’s BFF L-boy were on their way up the rope tow to ski with their buddy (I’ve known all these kids since they were four years old. They are all such wonderful boys).

He was so excited coming down the hill. My heart sang at the sight of his huge grin as he sailed by me. “This is awesome! I’ve never gone that fast before! Well, except for that time I was in an airplane, but that wasn’t ME! I love this!”

We were so close to the end of the field trip, and time for the kids to be hustled back on the bus. I told the boys to stay where they were, I would be right back. I headed over to the teacher and asked her if I could keep H-boy with Quinn and I, and that I would drive him home. Seeing how excited and pleased he was, how could I put an end to his fun knowing I could give him the opportunity to continue? After speaking with his Dad, she gave me permission to keep him under my wing a little longer.

H-boy couldn’t believe his ears. “Thank you!” I made him a deal that if he could come down the learner’s hill three times without stumbling, I would take him on the chairlift for a few runs. He did it.

This little boy who was so devastated only a few hours earlier, was now wishing he could ski all night, and every day until Spring arrives. I felt so proud and thrilled to be able to give him this experience.

We proceeded to go down the easiest run four times, his turning and control improving each attempt. Quinn was so patient and encouraging, cheering H-boy on as he went along. He was exactly the kind of friend I always hoped my kids would be. I was proud of him too.

It was soon five o’clock, and time to go. We all could have easily stayed until 10pm close, but I had promised his Dad that H-boy would be home by 5:30pm.

We were all fired up from this amazing afternoon. What a transformation—a brilliant display of courage, perseverance and determination.

H-boy, you are awesome and inspiring. I will be happy to bring you skiing with us anytime.

{ Psst… I love to receive feedback on my posts. Please leave your comments whenever you feel inspired to do so! }

Inspiration 365: Day 37

Tara came in to train today. I haven’t worked with her for a while simply because our schedules haven’t lined up. She did however have the opportunity to work with Marshall, who was mightily impressed by her intensity and hard work attitude.

Today, I was showing her the core and legs component of her new program. It begins with a non-stop circuit of three core exercises: 15 reverse power crunches, 16 weighted torso twists and 15 low cable good mornings. Three rounds, non-stop, max weight.

I decided to do the core set with her… just for fun.

I’m still feeling it. Thanks, Tara, for letting me piggy-back on your workout.

{ Psst… I love to receive feedback on my posts. Please leave your comments whenever you feel inspired to do so! }

Inspiration 365: Day 32

Margaritas at Agave Grill with Nat.
Enough said.

Inspiration 365: Day 30

Some days there are too many highlights to choose only one to feature here. Today was one of those days. Here’s my list of inspirations since I woke at 6am…

6:00am… Céline’s email. {Thank You}

6:50am… The first moments of sunrise as I arrived back home after driving Marshall to work.

7:00am… Rocking out to the Burlesque soundtrack as I drove. Damn, that is feel-good music.

7:30am… The way Quinn leaped up from his chair to approach me for a good morning hug when I arrived at Andrew’s this morning.

11:30am… Tara’s first chest + back workout on her next program. She pushed though some ego moments and won the “I can’t do this” war. You ought to feel it tomorrow, Babe. See you Wednesday for core + legs!

2:30pm… My girl EmVee walked in the door, whom I haven’t seen in a few weeks as she has been admirably putting in loads of overtime to put away for her RRSP contribution. She was all glammed up with a leopard-print scarf, looking so fine. So great to see you, Melissa!

2:50pm… Kelly + Craig arrived to deliver some goodies from home for Cierra. Kelly, your eyes always melt my heart a little. You are so extraordinarily beautiful. Thank you for our first 16 years of honest answers and sage advice.

3:50pm… The strong possibility of an Interior Design/Decorating contract for an exciting client. Stay tuned…

4:00pm… My boys as they hopped off the school bus. Never a moment more beautiful then when I lay eyes on them after even a minute apart.

All evening… Cierra’s magical engagement with the boys as I frantically worked to meet a graphic design deadline. She had them making papier maché masks of their own faces, washing up, and playing Go Fish while she prepared supper. Thank you, Sweet Girl.

6:30pm… Oh yes, the Fondue Soup was amazing!

9:47pm… Finding a quarter on the ground outside as Marshall and I took Marley out for her last pee of the day.  Thank you, Universe!

Now… Bed. Looking forward to spectacular dreams tonight.

{ Psst… I love to receive feedback on my posts. Please leave your comments whenever you feel inspired to do so! }

Inspiration 365: Day 26

• This morning’s sunrise as I headed West.
• Silly voices with Jake.
• Guilt-free chocolate additive for smoothies.
• Working though some ego-based blueprints with Jackie.
• Tara’s completion of the Foundation Program.
• The prompt for GNOv3.
• Editing JoeGirl.com to feature Design, Illustration + Live Your Spirit!™.
• Nutiva Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil.
• Tea with Tara.
• Tara’s new skirt.
• Marley’s meek curiosity.
• The imminent return of my girl Cierra tomorrow.
• Sleep…

{ Psst… I love to receive feedback on my posts. Please leave your comments whenever you feel inspired to do so! }

Inspiration 365: Day 25

Growing up, I had one really, really good girl friend, and at any given time, two or three other girl friends I could occasionally call or hang out with. I tended to have more guy friends, and often felt more comfortable around them, as I was much of a Tomboy myself (for example, spelling my Jo, with an ‘e’ since the age of 8).

It wasn’t until launching JoeGirl that I really became focused on women, thereby attracting more women into my life. In the last 18 months since opening Marshall’s, I have become very good friends with over a dozen women—any of whom I could call at a moment’s notice to join me for a drink, a meal, a shopping spree, or a good cry.

One of those women is Chantal. Gorgeous, real, humble, sweet, spirited, tender Chantal. {I do believe she is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Seriously. People Magazine has yet to feature anybody more stunning than this girl.}

After being unable to attend each other’s fortieth birthday party, Chantal and I agreed to set a lunch date. Today was the day. Given recent events and a rough start to my day, I walked the 100 paces from the Centre to Back Lane Café, wondering how my mood was going to pick up enough to be anything more than mediocre company.

As soon as I saw her face, my lugubrious mood lifted immediately. We caught each other up on our recent goings-on for no less than thirty minutes before even placing our order. Seems we have been leading similar lives, struggling with similar issues, battling the same ego wars. It was refreshing and uplifting to share our wins and losses with somebody who has really been there. And yes, we cried.

I practically skipped back to the gym, beaming with an optimism for my future—the okay to feel what I have been feeling, and the confidence to surge ahead with my dreams.

Chantal, you are extraordinary. Thank you for walking into my life, and welcoming me into yours.

{ Psst… I love to receive feedback on my posts. Please leave your comments whenever you feel inspired to do so! }

Inspiration 365: Day 23

I didn’t write yesterday.

For all the wonderful things, people and experiences in my life, yesterday was a dark day. I went to sleep with tear-stained eyes and a heavy heart, my mind struggling with anxiety and fear. Not feelings I typically harbour, especially at the intensity at which they came on yesterday. So many rotten situations compounding at once. Of course, all opportunities for growth, though hard to see the light at the moment.

In hindsight, there were many inspirations yesterday:

• Jake’s sweet dialogue about the phrase Sunday Night… “Mom, the words Sunday Night don’t make sense. Sun. Day. Night. It frustrates me, Mama.”
• Quinn’s Kung Fu Panda 2 movie review for school, and A grades on two geometry assignments.
• Rave reviews to my latest batch of JoeGirl Cookies.
• Tara’s sweet thought for the day, about the gift of love.
• Hot bath + red wine.
• Nat’s offer of a contract project for the Westboro BIA.
• The quirky employment application questionnaire from a local design agency. Forcing me to think about myself in a completely different way. Not such a bad thing.

For the record, I am currently looking for flexible full-time, regular part-time, or freelance design contracts. As you know, my best work comes in the form of publication design, colour and type selection, organization and time management.

So… what inspired YOU today?

{ Psst… I love to receive feedback on my posts. Please leave your comments whenever you feel inspired to do so! }

Inspiration 365: Day 22

You want to hear something crazy?

I am friends with my ex-husband’s girlfriend on Facebook.

Yep. Wacko. I know.

The three of us went to lunch last November 11, 2011. As nervous as a teenaged girl on her first date, I wanted her to like me. I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable or uneasy. I simply wanted everybody to get along as adults should. We met under the guise of a colour consult, so I came equipped with 30lbs of paint fandecks, and she brought samples of her bedroom linens. It was the perfect—albeit unnecessary—ice-breaker.

I think Andrew was the most uncomfortable of all of us. He was fidgety and quiet. Likely thinking, “Oh my God, my worlds are colliding.”

Within 24 hours, she and I had connected via private message on Facebook. Within another six, we were “Friends” with Andrew’s blessing, of course. Ever since, we have ‘liked’ and commented on each other’s status updates, photos, links and shares.

What a wonderful situation—to not begrudge the person who now occupies Andrew’s heart, simply because society expects me to. I am thrilled for both of them… so deserving of happiness.

Thank you, Caroline. You inspire me.

So… What inspired YOU today?

{ Psst… I love to receive feedback on my posts. Please leave your comments whenever you feel inspired to do so! }

Inspiration 365: Day 16

Tonight, I am inspired by the many strong, beautiful women in my life…

Kelly, for working so hard to promote my new business direction;
Tara, for listening and lending a new perspective;
Cierra, for being so passionate about raising awareness to her peers about safe driving;
Elsbeth, for her determination and perseverance;
Melissa, for racking up the overtime so she can contribute enough to her RRSP to avoid paying taxes;
Tali, for inquiring about a power lifting program for women {oh, yah!};
Clarissa, Karla and Jennifer, for joining my 6-Meal Dinner Club within three minutes of receiving their invitation {Don’t be offended if you did not receive an invite. This is a spin-off for the participants of last week’s Nutrition Workshop. I will offer more dinner clubs down the road.};
Céline, for opening the Centre at 6am today after buggering-up her knee last night; and
my Mom, Sharon, for yesterday’s encouraging words which echoed throughout my thoughts all day long.

Thank you, Ladies.

…What inspired YOU today?

{ Psst… I love to receive feedback on my posts. Please leave your comments whenever you feel inspired to do so! }

Inspiration 365: Day 2

In a word: Tara.

Tara is my newest gal pal. She stopped into the gym many months ago to inquire, then returned shortly thereafter to begin her Membership. With her blue highlights and hairy legs (it’s okay, even she jokes about this), we hit it off right away—hard and fast. This girl is one of a kind. Yes, in truth we are all one of a kind, but let’s face it, we know an independent, spirited, inspired woman when we see one. This Tara chick… she’s got it all, Babe.

Why does she inspire me so? Tara reminds me that it’s okay to trust, to let yourself open up and reveal yourself to another person, even if you’ve only recently met; that it’s a wonderful gift to share laughter; and that simple gestures really are the best kind. Tara also reminds me that it is okay to be weak at times, and to require—and ask for—support; that tears don’t need to be hidden and fears needn’t be forbidden.

Tara and I are kindred spirits in such an uncanny sense. We both saved the same nest + eggs sticker from a 2006 children’s clothing promotion and adhered it to our newborn baby’s bookshelf. Her second born is only six days younger than mine. She has the china pattern I wanted for my wedding registry (though I opted for a simpler more traditional “safe bet”). She loved Cyndi Lauper in the 80s (only a few of us would admit that). We live three blocks apart. We are Mac users. We can talk about the Universe and thought in one breathe, and making Boozy Popsicles in the next. We laugh and are silly. We dance.

Tara, you inspire me. Thank you.

… What inspired YOU today?

{ Psst… I love to receive feedback on my posts. Please leave your questions, comments + feedback whenever you feel inspired to do so! }

Change…

Growth is a necessary, but often painful, part of life.

Most often, when one begins to attract and develop their passion in life, the changes required to realize this will affect those closest and dearest to them. This is a very difficult time of turmoil and unrest, as each individual must now accept or reject a new identity. It is important to understand the person affecting the change is still the same person who loves them very much and wants what is best for all, which includes being honest with themselves while they begin to live their life.

This does not mean abandonment, but very often means things will be much better for all concerned once things settle, if all choose this outcome. It is also necessary to realize no one is at fault. There is no one to blame, no bitterness exists, and a deep rooted love remains. It should also be pointed out that very often change has been in the works for quite some time, with very little evidence, and that change is the individual’s choice—and can only be their choice—not the fault of another.

One of the things they neglect to mention when applying The Law of Attraction, is that once you have laid out your desired life and all the components of that desired life begin to manifest themselves on the physical plane, there will almost always be much pain experienced by those affected, especially if those being affected have no understanding of how and why this Universal Law operates. This pain is so totally unnecessary and change should be a welcome thing. Sadly very few will ever see growth this way, unless they believe that change was their idea.

— Anonymous

Every opportunity, a new opportunity

I was talking with Marshall one day, and found myself describing somebody in my life using negative labels, like shallow-thinker, stubborn, insecure and unhappy. His comment back was “If you always think of her that way, than that is what she will always be to you. She can never be anything else.”

Marshall went on to explain that if every time I saw or spoke with this person, and as long as I continued to think of her with those negative attributes, I would fail to see any redeeming or positive qualities. I would focus on everything she did or said that fit within those labels, and force every moment of the connection to be encapsulated within my predetermined idea of her, never allowing her to break out of that shell.

Shortly thereafter, I had an opportunity to connect with the person whom I previously thought of as a shallow-thinker, stubborn, insecure and unhappy. I consciously cleared my head before greeting her, allowing only positive thoughts and energy between us.

The interaction that followed was amazing. I learned that she was bright, interested, engaged, and we shared laughter, which in previous conversations might have been forced, but now was authentic and genuine, because I believed she was happy.

What a brilliant lesson. Imagine greeting every person with a fresh perspective every time. No expectations, no pressure, no labels, no judgment. It is actually quite refreshing, and the more you practice the ‘clean slate approach’, the easier it becomes. You will find the energy between you is more relaxed, natural… and enjoyable.

Keep this in mind for the next connection you make today.

PS: In case you might be worried that the person in this post is YOU, fear not. There is no possible way it is you.

I’m struggling with this one… A question.

I’ve been trying to write a particular JoeGirl post for quite some time now, but am struggling to find the right voice. It is something I am quite passionate about, yet I appreciate it is a concept much of society is not ready to embrace just yet—or at least, that is my experience.

I have several male friends. In fact, of the people I talk to on a regular basis, go to for advice, relate my life’s experiences with, most are men. Some of these men are single. Some of these men are married. Some of these men are younger. Some of these men are older. All of these men bring value to my life, and I would be very sad to lose their presence in my life, as they are each a very special, cherished friend.

The issue is… society does not seem to “get it”. Why would a married woman—happy with, passionate about, and grateful for, her husband and family—want or need outside male friendships?

I am not going to raise the differences about men and women here. We all know the basics. For me personally, I have always been somewhat of a tomboy. Preferring jeans to dresses, function over fashion, and for the most part, the company of guys over gals. I have enjoyed countless friendships with boys and men throughout school and adulthood, and will continue to do so.

The problem is, many of these guys feel they have to keep these friendships under wraps—hidden from their families, buddies, society—so people don’t get “the wrong idea”. So we can’t go shopping (some of these guys have wicked fashion sense), can’t do lunch, can’t go to a movie or concert… Simply because one or both of us is married, but not to each other. It is ridiculous!

We are friends. I help them. They help me. We laugh. We talk about kids, work, media, whatever anybody else talks about! And yah, we might even talk about our relationships. Do you know how valuable it has been for me, as a wife, to have a great guy friend to discuss this stuff with? To have another man’s opinion? Another husband’s opinion? Another father’s opinion? Oh, it is priceless information, Ladies! Better than any article Cosmopolitan has to offer on relationships, let me tell you.

I can hear you now “You talk about your marriage with other men???” Listen, I’d rather talk about personal matters with a best male friend than read about them in a trashy magazine or Dr. Phil book. These guys know me, and know how real life, real relationships, real families work—in our culture, our society, our hectic schedules.

Yes, these friendships can be “intimate”, but they only qualify as such because we insist there be an incredible amount of trust present. I trust these guys to not cross the proverbial line, and the trust is mutual. We insist on respecting one another unconditionally, or the friendship is doomed for failure.

So, my question:
Why does society struggle to accept male-female friendships?

Oh, I know I will be judged on this, and THAT is what makes me so annoyed. We do not choose who comes into our lives, or when, or for what purpose. We do however, choose whether or not to embrace these connections, to learn and grow from them. I would have been a fool to toss away any of these friends, simply because they are male.

As with every post, I am especially grateful for your comments on this one.

Palette: Lime Chocolate Sky

Every year for five years—since moving into my current neighbourhood—I have hosted a cookie exchange in early December. It was my way of introducing myself to the girls in the 'hood, but was such a success we all stuck with it.

We typically have about 15 participants, all baking 15 dozen, or 15 loaves, or 15 bundles of whatever tickles our fancies. We congregate at my place and chow down on pot-luck brunch and baking samples. Our freezers and pantries are well-stocked for the holiday season, and we’ve all had a few good laughs during our get-together.

These are the scrumptious Cranberry Praline Quickbreads I baked for the 2006 exchange. I divided the standard loaf recipe into four mini loaf tins, then repeated it all 3 more times to yield 16 loaves. My entire house smelled mouth-watering marvelous for days!

To dress, I wrapped each loaf in parchment, then a sheet of pretty 12 x 12" scrapbooking paper, and bound it all together with matchy-matchy ribbon and contrasting tag. I go to great lengths to colour coordinate the entire event—from the invitations to packaging and party décor—a new palette every year.

“Lime Chocolate Sky”: Pantone 4705, 7506, 536, 617

Twenty-two years

Last night I hosted a Tea Party. Ten women came to my home to sample and purchase a variety of teas from a new Canadian company called Steeped Tea. It was a wonderful evening. Though it would only have been half as wonderful if a dear friend from another life hadn’t surprised me with her attendance.

The tea presentation had begun. I assumed everybody who was coming, had come. I was settled in nicely, listening intently to the health benefits of green tea. Curious by the creaking of my porch door opening, I leaned forward just enough to catch a glimpse of the woman standing there. As if nobody was in the room, I jumped from my chair and ran, waving my arms and screaming “It’s Jen! It’s JEN!!! I haven’t seen Jen since I was a kid!” Without giving her face another look, I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed tight. I stepped back, held her at arm’s length and she answered the question I didn’t even have to ask. “It’s been twenty-two years”. We were about 13 and 14 the last time we saw one another. High school. Eons ago. Twenty-two years.

We excused ourselves for being so rowdy, and hushed ourselves to the two remaining chairs in the room. They appeared to be reserved just for us. We spent the next five minutes glancing at each other every few moments, as if to be checking to make sure we were really where we thought we were. She beside me and I beside her.

The evening was spectacular. Steeped Tea offers an exquisite collection of loose teas. You must sample, or at least smell, as many as you can, as soon as you can. I seem particularly drawn to their Rooibos teas, from South Africa. Glorious, rich teas with a heavier, more coffee-like impression. Interesting, as I am not a coffee-drinker, though I do love its aroma.

I digress.

Jen is one of a very select group of people who I have thought of a zillion times since our last connection. As kids, we don’t understand why friendships fade and, when they do, how to nurture them back. After a regrettably long period of time, you figure it’s too late. If she hadn’t come looking for you, and you hadn’t gone looking for her, it was done. The friendship was one of childhood only, and in that vault is where it would stay. But you continue to wonder, be filled with curiosity, longing and sorrow. That friend was special. And if you hadn’t been such a lazy kid, she would still be your friend today. Probably one of your very best.

But that wasn’t my path with Jen. It took a social networking website, okay FaceBook, to bring us together again. I had searched for her several times since joining, to no avail. Then one morning I had a message in my Inbox. From Jen. Just like last night when she walked through my front door, I jumped from my chair and ran, waving my arms and screaming “It’s Jen! It’s JEN!!! I haven’t seen Jen since I was a kid!”. Andrew (my, until now not mentioned, husband) thought I was nuts, but appreciated my excitement, for he too wonders about long-ago friends.

What struck me most about Jen, and what spoke such a strong message to me all night and much of today, was that she is exactly the same person. Not just her brilliant smile full of glorious, straight teeth (I always loved her teeth. I don’t think she ever had to endure orthodontics), her twinkling eyes, her gentle yet bubbly voice... She was in every imaginable way, the same character of the girl I adored as a kid. The very same.

Funny thing was, she said the same about me.

And to think I have done so much in the last twenty-two years (appreciating you are just getting to know me, I’ll fill you in on my life story another time). How could twenty-two years and just as many major life experiences not fundamentally change a person? But I really don’t think it is possible. Again thanks to FaceBook, I have reconnected with other long-ago friends. My best friend for the first seven years of my life, is now openly gay. A major life change, but he is still essentially, fundamentally Chris. Finola, a dear friend in high school. Married, two glorious daughters. Again, significant life changes, but she is still thoughtful, sweet, wondrously intelligent Finola.

So for Jen to say I was still the same had me glowing. I know who I am now, but I seem to have forgotten — or did I ever really know — who I was as a kid. Perhaps being told I haven’t changed gave me a clearer insight into the ten-year old me. Which somehow helps to establish a stronger sense of myself now.

I think we could all use a stronger sense of self. So go ahead. Find those long, lost friends and let them tell you you haven’t changed. It feels incredible.

Thanks, Jen.